The LinkedIn Faux Pas That Cost Him a Job
Daniel was a strong candidate for a senior marketing role. His resume was impressive, his portfolio was stellar, and he'd aced the first two interviews. The hiring manager, Rebecca, was ready to extend an offer.
Then she checked his LinkedIn activity.
Daniel had tagged her in a post without asking—a "Top 10 Marketing Leaders You Should Follow" list. He'd done the same to dozens of others. His DMs were full of aggressive sales pitches. And his comment history showed him arguing with people in threads, sometimes getting condescending.
Rebecca called him anyway—but the job went to another candidate. When Daniel asked for feedback, she was honest: "Your skills are great, but your LinkedIn behavior suggests you might not be the cultural fit we're looking for."
Daniel had no idea his LinkedIn etiquette was costing him opportunities.
Here's the truth: LinkedIn has unwritten rules—norms that everyone follows but few explicitly teach. Break these LinkedIn etiquette tips, and you'll damage relationships, hurt your reputation, and lose opportunities before you even know they existed.
This guide will teach you the modern etiquette of LinkedIn so you can network with respect, not regret.
Why LinkedIn Etiquette Matters More Than Ever
LinkedIn isn't just a networking platform anymore—it's a permanent, public record of your professional behavior. Every interaction is visible. Every comment is searchable. Every connection is a reflection of your judgment.
Good etiquette signals:
- Professionalism: You understand workplace norms and respect boundaries
- Emotional intelligence: You can read social cues and adapt your approach
- Trustworthiness: You're someone who plays by the rules and treats people well
Bad etiquette signals the opposite—and people notice. Recruiters, hiring managers, potential clients, and collaborators are all watching how you show up.
Connection Request Etiquette: How to Ask Without Being Creepy
Let's start with the basics: sending connection requests.
DO: Personalize Your Request
Always include a note explaining why you want to connect. Generic requests feel like spam.
Example:
"Hi Rebecca, I really enjoyed your post about content-led growth strategies—especially the part about building trust before pitching. I'm working on similar challenges in my role and would love to connect and learn from your approach!"
DON'T: Connect and Immediately Pitch
Sending a sales pitch the second someone accepts your request is the LinkedIn equivalent of proposing on a first date.
Bad example:
"Hi! Thanks for connecting. I help marketers like you 10x their ROI. Here's a link to my calendar to book a demo."
What to do instead: Build rapport first. Engage with their content. Reference shared interests. Then—after establishing trust—you can explore opportunities. Learn more in our guide on what to say after someone accepts your LinkedIn request.
DO: Explain the Connection (Especially for Strangers)
If you have no mutual connections or shared context, explain why you're reaching out.
Example:
"Hi Rebecca, I came across your article on remote team management and found your framework incredibly helpful. I'm building a distributed team and would love to connect with others navigating similar challenges."
DON'T: Connect with Direct Competitors to Spy
Connecting with competitors to monitor their activity is transparent and off-putting. If you genuinely admire their work, be upfront about it. Otherwise, just follow their public content.
Messaging Etiquette: The DM Do's and Don'ts
LinkedIn DMs are where most etiquette violations happen. Here's how to message without being "that person."
DO: Respect Their Time
Keep messages concise and get to the point. Long-winded DMs rarely get read.
Good structure:
- Greeting + context (1 sentence)
- Reason for reaching out (1-2 sentences)
- Clear, specific ask or question (1 sentence)
DON'T: Ask to "Pick Their Brain"
This phrase signals "I want free consulting." Instead, ask a specific question or offer value first.
Bad: "Can I pick your brain about product marketing?"
Good: "I'm working on positioning for a new SaaS product. Your framework about clarity over cleverness really resonated. Would you be open to a quick question about applying it to technical audiences?"
DO: Follow Up Once (If They Don't Reply)
People miss messages. A single follow-up after 5-7 days is acceptable—and often gets a response.
Example:
"Hey Rebecca, just bumping this up in case it got buried. No worries if now's not a good time—happy to revisit later!"
DON'T: Follow Up Repeatedly
If they don't reply after two messages, move on. Persistence becomes harassment quickly.
DO: Use Voice Messages Sparingly (and Only If Appropriate)
LinkedIn now allows voice messages. They can feel personal—or invasive. Use them only if:
- You already have a rapport with the person
- The message is genuinely too complex for text
- You've asked if they're open to it first
Don't send unsolicited voice messages to strangers. It's too intimate for cold outreach.
Commenting Etiquette: How to Engage Without Annoying
Comments are your most visible form of engagement. Here's how to do it right.
DO: Add Value to the Conversation
Thoughtful comments get noticed. Generic ones get ignored.
Bad comment: "Great post!"
Good comment: "This really resonates. I tried a similar approach last quarter and found the biggest challenge was [specific point]. Curious how you handled that?"
Value-driven comments position you as thoughtful and engaged—not just someone fishing for attention. This is part of leveraging micro-interactions to build relationships.
DON'T: Self-Promote in Comments
Using someone else's post to promote your product, service, or content is tacky.
Bad: "Great point! I actually wrote about this in my latest blog post: [link]"
Good: Share your insight without the link. If it's valuable, people will check your profile.
DO: Disagree Respectfully (If You Must)
It's okay to offer a different perspective—just do it gracefully.
Bad: "This is completely wrong. Here's why..."
Good: "Interesting take! I've had a different experience with this approach. In my case, [specific example]. I wonder if industry context plays a role here?"
DON'T: Start Arguments or Pile On
Debates in comment threads make everyone uncomfortable—and damage your reputation. If you feel strongly, move the conversation to DMs.
DO: Tag People Sparingly (and Only When Relevant)
Tagging someone in a comment is fine if it's genuinely relevant to them. But don't tag people just to boost visibility.
Good: "This reminds me of what @Rebecca shared about async communication last month."
Bad: Tagging 10 "industry leaders" in a "Top People to Follow" post without asking them first.
Posting Etiquette: How to Share Without Oversharing
What you post matters—not just the content, but how often and in what tone.
DO: Be Authentic, Not Performative
People connect with real stories and genuine insights—not overly polished "thought leadership."
Example: Sharing a lesson from a failure is more relatable than humble-bragging about a win.
DON'T: Post Too Frequently
Posting multiple times per day can feel like spam. Aim for 2-4 high-quality posts per week—consistency beats volume. For more on this, check our guide on consistent networking habits.
DO: Give Credit Where It's Due
If you're sharing someone else's idea, framework, or content, tag them and acknowledge it explicitly.
Example: "I've been using @Rebecca's content repurposing framework for the past month—it's doubled our reach. Here's how we applied it..."
DON'T: Vague-Post or Drama-Post
LinkedIn isn't the place for cryptic complaints or calling people out indirectly.
Bad: "Some people just don't get it. If you know, you know."
Why it's bad: It's unprofessional and makes you look petty.
DO: Respond to Comments on Your Posts
If someone takes the time to comment, acknowledge them. It shows respect and encourages future engagement.
Tagging Etiquette: When and How to Tag Others
Tagging can be a powerful way to include people—or a surefire way to annoy them.
DO: Ask Permission Before Tagging (When Possible)
If you're creating a "Top People to Follow" list or a shout-out post, ask people if they're comfortable being tagged.
DON'T: Tag for Visibility Alone
Tagging influencers just to get their followers to see your post is transparent—and ineffective. They'll ignore or mute you.
DO: Tag When It Adds Genuine Value
Tag someone if:
- You're directly referencing their work or idea
- They contributed to the content you're sharing
- The post is genuinely relevant to them and they'd want to see it
Endorsement and Recommendation Etiquette
DO: Endorse Skills You've Actually Witnessed
Only endorse skills you've seen in action. Random endorsements feel hollow and insincere.
DON'T: Ask for Endorsements or Recommendations Immediately
Wait until you've built a genuine relationship or worked together. Then ask thoughtfully.
Good approach:
"Hey Rebecca, I'm updating my profile and would love a recommendation highlighting our work on [specific project]. I know you have great insight into [specific skill]. Would you be open to writing one? Happy to return the favor!"
DO: Write Specific, Meaningful Recommendations
Generic recommendations don't help anyone. Be specific about what the person did well and the impact they had.
The Biggest LinkedIn Etiquette Mistakes (and How to Avoid Them)
Let's recap the most common mistakes:
1. The Immediate Pitch
What it is: Sending a sales message the second someone accepts your connection.
Fix: Build rapport first. Engage with their content. Start a genuine conversation.
2. Over-Tagging
What it is: Tagging people constantly to boost post visibility.
Fix: Only tag when genuinely relevant. Ask permission for shout-out posts.
3. Comment Spam
What it is: Leaving generic "Great post!" comments everywhere.
Fix: Add thoughtful, specific insights. If you don't have anything valuable to add, just like the post.
4. Ignoring Messages
What it is: Leaving genuine, thoughtful messages on read indefinitely.
Fix: Even a short "Thanks for reaching out! Swamped right now but will reply soon" is better than silence.
5. Public Arguments
What it is: Turning comment threads into debates or calling people out.
Fix: Disagree respectfully or move heated discussions to private DMs.
LinkedIn Etiquette for Different Scenarios
When Someone Shares Your Content
DO: Comment to thank them and add to the conversation.
DON'T: Just like it and move on. Acknowledge the share publicly.
When You Disagree with a Post
DO: Offer a respectful counter-perspective with examples.
DON'T: Attack the person or be dismissive.
When Someone Asks for an Introduction
DO: Ask both parties if they're open to connecting before making the intro.
DON'T: Just tag two people together without context or permission.
When You're Leaving a Company
DO: Thank your team and express gratitude professionally.
DON'T: Vent about the company, share internal drama, or burn bridges publicly.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it okay to connect with someone I've never met?
Yes, but always include a personalized note explaining why. Cold connection requests with no context often get ignored or rejected.
How do I politely decline a connection request?
You can ignore it (they won't be notified) or accept and later remove them if needed. LinkedIn doesn't notify people when you decline.
Should I connect with my boss or colleagues on LinkedIn?
Generally, yes—it's expected in most professional settings. But if you're job searching confidentially, be strategic about your activity and settings.
Can I message someone I'm not connected with?
You can if you have InMail credits or LinkedIn Premium. Otherwise, send a connection request first with a note explaining why you want to connect.
Is it rude to unfollow or disconnect from someone?
Not at all. You're curating your feed and network. LinkedIn doesn't notify people when you unfollow or remove them. Just be thoughtful if it's someone you work with or might need later. For more strategic approaches, see our post on the LinkedIn networking funnel.
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